6/27/2008

I knew I couldn't be that clever. . .

Just when I thought I was the smartest cookie in the jar, I get devoured faster than you can say chocolate chip.

I'm sure all of you knew that lad-lit or "dick-lit" as I've also seen it called, was not my bright idea. See, there's this thing called the internet and apparently lots of people surf it. So I figured I'd Google lad-lit and see my clever blog come up as the only site to use it. I think mine was the 21,098th out of the 29,700 other times it was referenced. Curse you Wikipedia!

I'm still keeping my blog title though!

Anyway, I won't let that deflate my enthusiasm. This weekend is quite busy for me so I'm posting today and keeping it brief. Thanks to all those that leave comments; I love that! And to "Tammy" whom I've never met before in my life, it sounds like you've got your act together. I'm sure your boy is the sweetest little guy! And cool idea about a dinosaur party, I'll have to keep that in mind. . . .

So as promised - and very nervously - I'll leave you with a tiny little morsel from my first book. Perhaps there might be other bits and pieces that will follow in postings to come. Also keep in mind that I am still in the draft phase, so that dissolves me of any responsibility for parts that you may find bad or poorly written. But if you like it, then it was just something I threw together pretty hastily. I guess I'm a natural, what can I say.



A brilliant white flash danced in the cloudy night sky, followed by a deep rumble.

The rain tapped on my face as I lay trapped. Both of my eyes were swollen shut and the only thing I could hear was a loud ringing in my ears mixed with some sort of muffled babbling. I tried to move but couldn't. The left side of my body was totally numb and the right side was both wet from the rain and hot from the fire. I tried to call out for my dad and great-grandfather but only heard the weird humming echo in my head.

'-- their way, just hang tight kid,' I suddenly heard.

'Who's there? Help, I think I'm hurt. Please, where's my dad?' I said trying to wiggle my way free from whatever was pinning me down.

'I said don't you move! Look, the fire department is here, hang on!' the voice said again.

The sound of the sirens cut through the air and I tried hard to strain my neck over to see what was going on. I managed to crack one eye open but could only make out the intermittent flashing of red lights. I turned my head to the other side and saw warm, flickering colors of orange and white; heat waves rising up. The smell of gasoline was starting to make me want to barf.

Another white flash from above followed by a menacing thunder clap.

Suddenly the rain stopped and I turned my head back. Someone new was now standing over me, wearing a helmet and long dark coat.

'Oh my God..., O.k kid, what's your name?' the man asked out of breath.

'Jason--' I answered confused, tasting blood.

'Jason, we're going to have to cut you and the old man out of the car, o.k. You're going to be o.k. We've contacted your mom and she's on her way.'

I didn't understand what he meant.

'The old man is my great-grandfather. Is he alright? Where's my dad, I need to see him...!' I said starting to panic.

I tried to get up quickly but now the numbness was fading and I felt a jolt of intense pain run through my left side. The man knelt down and held my head straight to prevent any further injury.

'Now Jason, I'm going to need you to remain calm and stay as still as you can ok? Do you understand what I'm saying to you? There is a --.'

The man's voice started to fade into the background like a deep sunset. I closed my eyes and knew that the situation was grave. Dad, Dad, was all I could say as two, three, four more people now emerged from out of nowhere. A mask was put over my nose and mouth and I started to feel light-headed. I felt a sharp stab in my right arm as the IV was being administered.

It was close to midnight. The weight was still crushing me. The pitter-patter of rain was still hitting my face. I was drifting in and out of consciousness and at one point thought I was at home in bed, dreaming.

Then I heard the sudden strain and grinding of metal, and then relief came. I felt at peace now, calm, numb again.

One more flash of white, but the thunder started to fade.

* * *


3 comments:

  1. wow that's intense stuff Jason! I love the imagery. My husband is a volunteer firefighter so I hear stories from him about car wrecks...yours sounds very realistic! Keep up the great work!

    BTW here is the link to my blog, which is less a blog than it is just a spot to put my blended family stuff at the moment. http://coolcatz777.blogspot.com/
    Let me know what you think!

    Cheers!

    Andrea

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  2. oh, btw a couple of interesting details my husband has told me about wrecks: dead people do not bleed, injured people bleed lots, dead or near dead people either move only in spasms or rhythmically or not at all and are quiet, injured people make lots of noise. Gruesome yes, but I was thinking about that session we were at today when Kit said the details are important. Feel free to use them if you can!

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  3. Hey Jason,

    It's very descriptive and you have a very likable character - as the reader, I care for the Jason character and hope he is going to be ok. Thanks for sharing. Is it based on real life experience?

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