Conspiracy Against Aspiring Authors

I've figured it out!  There is a definite plot out there in Proseland to quell the up and coming writer.  It's undeniable.  It's sneaky.  It's surprisingly subtle.  It's ridiculous and confounding.  

I have been seriously writing for the last three years, and over that span I have searched out strategies and techniques for writing well.  Through countless numbers of author interviews, blogs, and websites, there have been infinite tips given out to those who aspire, from those who have acquired.

But it was only recently that I found a disturbing trend inherent to the advice shared by said authors.  The #1 best piece of advice given to us aspiring writers was, is, and always will be:  READ...


But, how am I supposed to write while I read?  So, to be able to write and complete manuscripts, I need to read more?  But, if I stop reading in order to continue writing, my writing will suffer, thus requiring me to read some more, thus cutting back on my writing, thus...

Sounds like a 'chicken or egg' tip to me.

You see, after having read sooo many articles and-  Oh no.  It can't be.  They got to me.  I don't know how, but they got to me.  All those magazine articles... all those blogs... all those books on how to write...  THEY GOT ME READING!  All that time.  All those wasted hours.  I could have finished my first manuscript by now!  CURSE YOU SUCCESSFUL AUTHORS!

Sorry, but I've got to stop writing now so I can go and write.

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